People often soften their language because they’re afraid of conflict or being seen as rude. But not being assertive at work usually results in overstepped boundaries and frustration.
For instance, Meredith loves her job.
Sometimes, she has to work long hours during the week, but her company has a results-only policy where employees are allowed to work from home as long as their performance and productivity doesn’t falter.
After working at the company for about a year, Meredith decided that she would like to work at home on Fridays. …
It’s impossible for me to contain my excitement, so I’ll come right out and share that …
TRUST YOURSELF IS OUT TODAY!
You can can get your copy:
“Groundbreaking and insightful, Trust Yourself is essential reading for every sensitive, introverted professional.”
— Susan Cain, author of Quiet and creator of Quiet Revolution
This is the book I wish I’d had as an empathetic, driven person trying to find my way in my career and figure out how to believe in myself in the process.
It’s a guide to master your sensitivity and enjoy…
Enjoy this excerpt from Chapter One from Melody’s new book, Trust Yourself: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions into Success at Work, which comes out tomorrow, May 4th.
Kelly’s job was killing her spirit.
When she’d originally started as the Social Services Director at a large county agency six years before, she’d been excited to lead a team and to make a difference in the lives of underprivileged children. …
Hard work is an essential ingredient to achieving greatness and advancing your career. Moreover, attributes like persistence and grit can bring you closer to your professional — and personal — goals. But there comes the point when determination becomes damaging and clinging to your goals actually backfires.
Take my coaching client, Xavier, for example. As a client experience director at a media company, Xavier held himself to high expectations. Not only was he spearheading several major initiatives within his team, but he also had several ambitions outside of work, including earning a professional certification and getting his pilot’s license.
As a software engineer at a major tech company in Silicon Valley, Amanda has a high-pressure, high-status job.
From the outside, she looks organized and methodical in the way she approaches her work, but on the inside, negative thoughts dominated her mind. She felt as if she was barely keeping it together.
“I’ll sit down to code,” she told me, “And when I get to a difficult part, I totally freeze up. My hands will be paralyzed above the keyboard. But my mind is going wild. …
James was the type of employee every manager dreamed of. Hardworking and dedicated, James was poised to become a VP of Product at a technology company. And, like a lot of people, he was a go-getter.
James loved his job and took pride in being the go-to person on the team. He was always taught he should go above and beyond, and that’s exactly what he did. Recently, though, James had taken on a big, new project. This meant more responsibility, and he was excited about the prospect of leveling up in his career.
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You need a thicker skin.”
“Quit taking things so personally.”
Do these sound like things you’ve heard before?
If so, it’s understandable that you may have come to view your emotionality as a liability instead of the gift that it is. After decades of being told they are thin skinned, many Sensitive Strivers eventually conclude that their emotions are excessive, invalid, or wrong, when in fact they are having a genuine emotional response that feels natural to them.
Angela, a client of mine, once summed up the pressure, saying, “Sometimes I wish I could ratchet…
When you’re a highly sensitive person (HSP), navigating your career can be challenging.
Common workplace situations that may be moderately stressful to others — like speaking in meetings or getting feedback (even over Zoom these days) — can quickly overstimulate you. In fact, studies show that workers with sensory processing sensitivity (the trait’s scientific name) tend to experience more stress than their less-sensitive peers.
In addition to being more sensitive to stimuli, HSPs process information more deeply and thoroughly. …
Boundaries at work are crucial. Healthy boundaries are among the most powerful tools for taking charge of your time, attention, and energy and are a critical tool for internalizing your locus of control.
A boundary is a limit that promotes integrity and confidence to help you maintain balance and self-respect. Setting clear boundaries stops demands and intrusions from invading your space, manipulating and disempowering you.
Much like a property line, boundaries define where you end, and others begin. Personal boundaries also help you decide what types of communication, behavior, and interaction you accept from others. …
Recently I was in the studio recording the audio version of my forthcoming book TRUST YOURSELF: Stop Overthinking and Channel Your Emotions for Success at Work.
Here are five lessons I learned from the experience that can apply to your life, too.
I tripped over my words at times. I’d get stuck on a sentence and have to reread it over and over. At first, I’d get frustrated with myself. I’d berate myself to “do better.” Not only that, I worried my mistakes annoyed the production team. The result? I’d only choke more! Counterintuitively, when I eased up on myself…