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The Secret Life of a Highly Sensitive Person
And why the trait can actually be an advantage
Growing up, I was constantly labeled as the “good listener.” I was also told to stop “taking things so personally.” I can read other people without them saying a word. I feel everything. All the time. Really deeply.
That’s because I’m a highly sensitive person, or HSP. Sensory-processing sensitivity (SPS) is the trait’s scientific term, and while it’s greatly misunderstood and often mischaracterized, it’s found in 15 to 20 percent of the population.
The terms HSP and SPS originated in the mid-1990s by research psychologist Elaine Aron, who theorized that it’s an inherent trait — an “innate survival strategy” designed to help people with more sensitive nervous systems better cope with the world by being “observant before acting.”
Studies indicate that HSPs actually exhibit increased blood flow in the areas of the brain that process emotion, awareness, and empathy. Since the advent of research into HSPs, biologists have discovered that more than 100 species of animals, including dogs, cats, horses, and even fruit flies, can possess sensory-processing sensitivity.
What High Sensitivity Is (And What It Isn’t)
Over the years, I’ve come to realize what a powerful advantage sensitivity can be. Today, as a coach and writer, empathy is part of my job description, and I view my sensitivity as a gift. But it wasn’t always that way. I used to beat myself up and feel like I was operating by a different set of rules. That’s another common experience for HSPs: internally struggling with self-doubt and low esteem because you feel broken.
First of all, it’s important to understand clearly that high sensitivity isn’t a disorder. It also isn’t the same as being introverted or shy. In fact, about 30 percent of HSPs are extroverts. It’s part of who you are — not a flaw that needs fixing or something you just snap out of, despite endless comments from family, friends, and strangers telling you to grow a thick skin and stop taking everything so seriously.
In general, HSPs are more aware of and affected by external stimuli than non-HSPs. They are often empaths, meaning they possess a keen…
