The Trust Yourself 10 Day Challenge: Day 7

Free yourself from the “shoulds” that bind you.

Melody Wilding, LMSW


Welcome to Day Seven of the 10-day Trust Yourself Challenge!

You have so much to be proud of. So far you’ve worked toward balancing your STRIVE qualities of Sensitivity, Thoughtfulness, Responsibility, and Inner Drive.

Each tiny action you’ve taken is another step to becoming the most empowered Sensitive Striver you can be. Because incremental, implementable changes over time add up to big results.

Today we cover your fifth STRIVE quality:


Vigilance means you’re attuned to the world. You’re a great listener and attentive to others’ needs. You sense subtleties — from a shift in your boss’ tone to the general mood of a meeting.

Overanalyzing the behavior of others and being on high alert can be draining. When your Vigilance is unbalanced you:

❌ Feel highly responsive and deferential to the needs of other people

❌ Read into situations, even when there’s nothing to worry about

❌ Are passive and afraid to take chances that advance your career

But when your Vigilance is balanced you:

✔️ Have attunement and empathy with others that create strong relationships

✔️ Assess risks and make good judgment calls

✔️ Channel your attention inward and pursue what’s right for you

My client Max is a great example of what it means to rebalance your Vigilance.

When Max took over his family’s business from his father, he had a lot of “shoulds” in his head.

He had preconceived notions about what a leader should look and act like. He assumed a “good leader” must be overly dominant and task-oriented, which wasn’t his natural style.

Max also believed, as head of the company, people should like him. This led him to avoid facing staffing issues, which only made problems worse…and resulted in major cash flow issues.

When Max started coaching, we utilized the strategies in my book TRUST YOURSELF to rid him of unhelpful assumptions and…



Melody Wilding, LMSW

Author of TRUST YOURSELF. Executive coach to Sensitive Strivers. Human behavior professor. Featured in NYT, NBC, CNN.